Tuesday, November 20, 2012

if you've never spoken to a five year old...

They think (and insist) their birthday is everyday.

(my personal favorite....) They bring crickets to school in their book bags.

Their parents think they are perfect (I mean what parent doesn't?)

some of last years crazies.

So I have a few minutes on my hand as I seriously praise the Lord for this Thanksgiving break! Unless you live it, you have no idea. Another reason I am FINALLY posting some of these quotes that should seriously crack you up is because I have a stack that is quickly growing. I really do my best to write down the hilarious and precious things that my five and six year olds say. I mean kids really do say the darndest things! So as I clean out the stack of post-its in my tote bag (which reminds me of the Barney bag because you never know what you might find) I'll get some of these off my hand that are a little outdated. Enjoy! :)

(Disclaimer: It is so much funnier if you read these in your best South Carolina, African American voice. Or call me up and I will be glad to reenact for you.)

One morning I was asking "L" where her folder was.
Me: "L, where is your folder?"
L: "It was in my hand and it jump out!"
Me: "Wow, I didn't know folders could jump."
L (in the most serious manner you can imagine): "Dey can jump high!"

I had a super chatty class last year and on one occasion we had to have a class meeting because I was all out of ideas.  I was asking for their suggestions of what else we could do to and I get this idea... "I got an idea! How bout we switch seats." .....you can imagine my response (cool, thanks). I promise we probably got new seats once a week by that point and if you have ever had limited space and 22 children, this becomes a ridiculously tedious task. Needless to say, we did not get new seats that time.

This is one of my favorites if I feel like throwing myself a singles only pitty party. One day, in our normal routine, "J" just walked right up to me, gives me a hug, and says, "You old, you need to get a boyfriend." :) Thanks J.

In Kindergarten we work on consonant-vowel-consonant words (CVC- like cat, dog, mom, etc.) and word families. Well these bring up many interesting words as you can imagine (give the -it word family a try and keep your composure). This particular day we were doing the -ar word family. One of the words is bar so naturally I say, "bar like bar of soap or a candy bar" and I hear "K" say, "or my momma go to da bar."       .....well....     I think that's one of those times when selective hearing comes in handy.

It wasn't a child that said this but it is a moment that I will probably never forget and will probably really appreciate when I'm older (and for the record I was only 21). Kindergarten was performing at the PTA meeting one night and I took a group of students to the restroom. I was waiting outside of the restroom and a parent walked up, seemingly lost. He began to approach me and then turned around. I said, "Can I help you get somewhere sir?" and he responded with, "oh I'm sorry, I thought you was a teacher."  ................ well... yea I was. I kindly responded, "yes sir, I am. :)" ...awkward.

my life according to Kindergarten.

I became a Kindergarten teacher in January 2012 in a low income area in North Charleston, SC.  To give you some idea, some websites rank it as one of the top 20 most dangerous cities.  The Lord is totally teaching me so much working here, with these children, and going to their neighborhoods, homes, and being a huge part of their lives.

Probably since the first week my friends have been begging me to start keeping track of all of the crazy things I hear and see. I promise I am encountering some of the funniest and most shocking things that you can imagine coming from 5 and 6 year old mouths. 

So here it is. I will attempt to do justice the hilarity of some of the things said and done in my classroom, starting from the beginning and all of the little scraps of paper I have been writing all of this down on. 

Enjoy! :)